


Shy Husbando

by memeberd



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: Gosh Dangit This Became Not A Oneshot, I HAVENT READ ALL THE BOOKS YET STILL BUT I NEEDED TO FUCKING WRITE THIS, I needed to write this, M/M, freshman in highschool, i rated this T because there's like two cuss words so im being careful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memeberd/pseuds/memeberd
Summary: Harold has been keeping an eye out for any moment his future spouse could appear. Now that it's time, he has to take action in order for them to be together; Billy's shy!!





	1. Chapter 1

Before the bell rang, George and Harold sat aside from the crowd of choir kids who were all years older than them in aged black seats. They weren’t too concerned with the group of upperclassmen, no, George and Harold simply talked to eachother as if no one was around. The choir room and band room were incidentally the same place, the floor carpeted and an unappealing dark shade of pine tree green, accentuated with grey spots. There was a spot in the back where the floor was more elevated, that’s where the band kids would take formation and practice. On that same side of the room, the wall was 50% mirror, students liked to do their hair and makeup in it, and, it was in the perfect spot to see students enter the classroom. Across from the mirrors were whiteboards, the entrance door, and a smaller chalkboard that was rarely used now aside from being drawn on during freetime. In the very center of the room was an old piano that had scratches and words carved into the back, and one of its arms had a worn down dent in it; the choir teacher liked to beat that very spot with the palm of her hand while she was playing the piano. George and Harold had yet to learn that. Students were still entering, not that George and Harold were paying attention, even after the final bell rang.

Among that small group of late teenagers, one of them caught Harold’s eye.

“So if we were to camp outside, we’d make it… in, time.” George’s words slowed down as he took note of Harold’s eyes looking past him.

“ _Oh, my God._ ” Harold said, eyes and body trapped in place.

“What?” George looked behind himself at two students who were setting their bags down infront of the door. A girl with curly red hair and a boy with darker hair. He looked back at Harold and pointed behind himself with a thumb. “You know one of them?” Harold was covering his mouth now.

“George, the guy, the guy that just walked in!” Harold pointed excessively in the direction of the student with jet-black hair and glasses kneeling over his bag to retrieve a folder, most likely to store future music sheets. “That’s-- Holy shit, _he’s here._ ”

“He who?” George whipped around to see the dorky lookin’ fella one more time. “That guy? Who is he, Harol?”

Harold practically melted, clutching his chest. “ _That’s my future husband!_ ”

George sputtered, trying to begin a sentence, and then he started to laugh.

“Look, I know I’ve said that alot the past few years but I’m _serious_ this time! Don’t you remember when we went to the timeline where we got married and had kids?”

“Oh,” George breathed. “That’s really him?”

“Yes. I never forgot what his face looked like!” Harold hissed. “What do I do??”

“Uh, talk to him?”

The boy with jet-black hair and developing stubble walked past them, Harold made a pathetic hushed sound as he went by. His shoes clicked a little, those were the kinds of shoes a professional wore. “ _That’s my husband,_ ” he murmured. Harold watched him awkwardly take a seat, away from the throng of upperclassmen like Harold and George, only in a different spot in the room. The boy crossed his leg, folder in his lap for comfort.

“Are, are you okay?” George asked.

Harold yanked at the strings of his hoodie and whimpered. “He’s too neat. How do I talk to him? _How are we gonna get married?_ ”

"Woah, woah, woah." George placed his hand on Harold’s shoulder. “Harold, now is not the time to panic, you two haven’t even officially met yet.” George’s eyes brightened, the boy was looking at Harold. George turned his attention to Harold as well. “He’ll love you.”

Harold’s stomach did dolphin tricks in place. “You think so?” He sighed again. “I can’t wait to find out what his voice sounds like, did you smell him earlier when he walked by? Do you think he likes dolphins?”

Before George could say anything, the choir teacher, Ms. Sylvia O’prano, ordered “Take your seats and form a circle!” She looked like she had been a choir teacher for possibly a decade or more. She also looked like she could ring a person’s neck. Not that she’d actually do that.

**___**

Placement was embarrassing, you had to sing with a small group of people so Ms. O’prano could hear you and stand you next to the people she thought you sounded nice with. The bad news was that Harold and his future husband, whose name he discovered is Billy, weren’t seated close to eachother at all and… Well, that was it. The good news was Harold was sitting right next to George, Billy was a bass and _sang like caramel,_ and Billy wouldn’t notice if Harold were staring at him. That last part, of course, backfired. After the fourth time he and Billy made eye contact, Harold kept his eyes on the floor. Or on George.

“He’s been looking at you alot,” George whispered when Ms. O’prano had the tenors sit down so she could work with the ladies in the alto section.

“ _That’s probably because I couldn’t stop staring at him for a while and we made eye contact too much._ ” Harold whispered back.

George chuckled softly. “ _No,_ when he first sat down, he looked at you a few times then. Something about you’s interesting to him.”

Harold’s face heated up. “Really?” He asked, looking at George to study his face.

George gave him a sly smile. “He’s looking at you right now.”

Harold’s eyes dared to venture back to Billy. Billy’s eyes lingered on Harold’s a second too long before flashing away.

“He’s as scared of you as you are of him.” George said.

“ _He’s perfect…_ ” Harold whispered dreamily. “I’m gonna talk to him after class.”

“Tell me when the honeymoon is,”

Harold punched George’s shoulder. “We’re fourteen!” He playfully scolded, a little too loud.

Ms. O’prano disruptively cleared her throat. “ _Do not talk while others are singing!_ ” She scolded, not playfully.

Harold shrunk apologetically, looking back over at Billy who _definitely_ saw him punching George. Billy smiled at him, Harold smiled back.

**___**

Ninety percent of the population of the choir/band room stampeded for the door as soon as the end-of-class bell rang. Harold scrambled to pick up the newly assigned songs from under his chair so he wouldn’t miss his chance to talk with Billy. By some stroke of luck, or possibly on Billy’s own terms, Harold’s future husband was right there. Knelt infront of his backpack to return his choir folder to its rightful spot, carefully zipping it shut. As he lifted it by a strap and started to stand, he heard someone speak behind him. 

“Hi,” Harold piped up.

Billy turned to face him. “Oh, hi.”

“Uh, we made eye contact alot earlier.” Harold stupidly said before wrenching his face shut and shaking his head. “I mean- I’m Harold, y-you seem really cool I was just wondering if you’d like to sit with me and my friend George during lunch later?”

Billy made a displeased noise. “No, sorry. I have homework to get started on during lunch.”

“Oh, uh,” _They had to spend time together somehow!_ “Maybe-?” Harold gave up, Billy was out the door. He sighed defeatedly.

George rubbed Harold’s shoulder from behind. “You’ll get him.” George reassured his disappointed friend. “Maybe he’s shy right now.”

“I don’t understand!” Harold complained, shoving his choir music somewhere in his open backpack before shutting it and slinging it over his shoulder. “Am I intimidating?”

“Huh,” George said, snatching his messanger bag and securing it on. “You know,” he began as they, too, exited the choir/band room, “maybe in the timeline where you didn’t instantly know Billy’s your husband, he pined after you before you were even aware of his existence!”

“What?” Harold asked in disbelief. “That can’t be possible, you saw him! _He’s_ out of _my_ league!”

“Dude. He’s a fucking nerd.”

“Don’t talk about my husband like that! He’s well dressed and smells like fancy cologne!”

“I know!” George laughed. “He’s comin’ to school like he’s applyin’ for a job!”

Harold scowled at George and yanked hard on his red tie.

“Ack! Okay! You made a valid point!”


	2. Lunch With Carlos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's Carlos? ...... **[vague shrugging gesture]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know why im adding to this,, this wasn't supposed to happen,,

**11:05 - Lunch Time**

George and Harold snuck out of math early to get to the cafeteria before it was too crowded. They made it a minute after the bell rang which meant there was already a line waiting to get served lunch, thankfully, it wasn’t too long. The cafeteria here was larger than the one back at Wildflower Middle School. The brick walls were painted a similar unappealing shade of pine green, and instead of one way into the serving area, there were two entrances and two exits to it. Every door was painted a shade of the blandest periwinkle. As they entered the cafeteria, they noticed a certain boy with jet-black hair was standing at the end of the line. 

George lightly elbowed Harold. “Hey, look! It looks like Billy’s here, you can talk to him again!”

“Oh, man..” Harold felt his stomach drop. “He sure is standing there.”

George watched Harold anxiously stand in place. He elbowed Harold harder. “Hurry before somebody takes your place! I’ll join after you got his attention!”

“Oh boy, okay,” Harold whispered uneasily as he trotted up to stand behind Billy. George walked behind him at half that speed. What would Harold say? It had to be something that’d spark his interest, _something quirky and memorable._ Without any further thought, after Harold was in place behind the dark haired boy, he said “Do you wanna hear my mating call?” 

Harold heard the audible **smack** of George facepalming behind him. That was no problem, Harold was his own person. The real problem was; when the person standing infront of Harold turned around, he revealed his face, and, he last time Harold checked... Billy didn’t have long black bangs covering his eyes, or a large nose, or a goatee. This wasn’t Billy, _this was a junior who looked like Billy only from behind!_ Harold’s innards screamed with humiliation.

“Excuse me?” The strange junior asked, looking down at Harold’s bright red face through his hair.

Harold wore a pained smile, embarrassed laughter bubbling out of him. “Oh, gosh, I actually thought you were somebody else!” He explained through uncontrollable giggles. “That wasn't intended for you, I don't have a mating call I was just joking, that’s my bad, I’m just _gonna--_ ” His leg swung out like it had a mind of its own and he dashed away from the lunch line. Now _George_ was standing behind this guy. George watched as the junior held a hand up to his face and called out:

“ _My name’s Carlos!_ ”

“ _See ya Carlos!_ ” Harold chirruped back from ten feet away, he was still running.

George hummed, rocking on his heels and shoving his hands into his pockets. “ _That_ was weird,” George said, pretending to not know Harold. “Who even was that?”

“Hoodie, lack of self confidence, stupid icebreaker, and goofy hair.” Carlos thoughtfully listed off to George. “Beats me, but that was one of the cutest freshman I’ve ever seen.” He added before turning back to face the direction the rest of the line was. George nodded slowly, taking in all this newly gathered information.

"I didn't think his hair looked goofy, I liked his hair. Not that I know him. I dunno who that guy is." George muttered in Carlos' direction before leaving the lunch line to find Harold.

George gripped at the bridge of his nose as he traveled in the direction Harold went. _Okay, Harold now has two boys pining after him,_ he thought. George was a little surprised this romance thing was so easy for Harold, but he already understood why. George wasn't really into men as far as he knew, but he'd be more than proud to tell anyone his other half Harold Hutchins is as cute as a button! “I wonder how many more he’s gonna attract by the end of the day…” George mumbled to himself, strutting past groups of men and women around his age, trash cans, and tables hosting more of his and Harold’s peers. When George made it to the end of the cafeteria where some booths were lined up near the windows, he stopped and placed his hands on his hips. Where was Harold?

“ _Geooorge!_ ” Harold whispered from behind. George whipped around to see Harold crouched behind a trash can near one of the exits. “ _I asked some guy named Carlos if he wanted to hear my mating call!_ ” He whined.

“I know!” George whispered, laughing and sitting on the floor next to Harold. “Why would you even wanna ask _Billy_ that?!” Harold turned bright red again at George’s laughter.

“I-it was quirky and memorable!” Harold explained, whispering at the same intensity George was.

“Oh that was _quirky and memorable_ alright!” George whispered again, defeated by a fit of laughter. He cried a little and wiped away a tear. “What were you gonna do if that was Billy for real? Were you expecting him to actually say yes??" George’s voice raised an octave as he spoke. "Were you gonna _screech at him?!_ ” He leaned against Harold, laughing harder. “OH! That’s _real charming, HAROL!_ ” George whooped with laughter, doubling over and lightly pounding a fist into Harold’s chest.

George’s laugh caused Harold to start giggling too, but he was frowning. “Come on, George! I’m embarrassed already you don’t have to add insult to injury...”

“ _I’m sorry--_ ” George wheezed before laughing more. Harold watched George struggle to calm himself down, he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes before snickering and saying “ _Do you wanna hear my mating call!!_ ” and starting back up again.

Harold sighed, pulling the hood of his jacket over his head and closing it so only his nose was visible. 

"Aw, Harol, take the hood off." George pleaded. "I'm done laughing now." 

"Nooo..." Harold moaned. "I'm a dork; Billy's _never_ gonna fall in love with me at this rate. I might as well just walk around like this for the rest of my life."

"If it makes you feel any better, it worked on Carlos."

Harold opened his hood, peaking at George from the widened hole. "What do you mean?"

"I pretended not to know you and asked him who you were because _if he said anything shitty about you I was gonna have to kill him_ but he said you were cute!" George explained.

"You're shitting me." Harold said, removing his hood.

"I'm not!" George reassured his friend. "He said you were one of the cutest freshmen he's ever seen!"

"Aw, nooo!" Harold covered his face with his hands. "That's- I don't even know who that guy is!"

"You better hope you don't have any classes with him."

Harold's stomach growled. "If we don't get any lunch soon I'm gonna die."

"I'm with ya, buddy. Let's go."

"And avoid _Carlos._ " Harold added as they stood together and headed for the lunch line Carlos the junior wasn't standing in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry, i'm not done with Getting Used To Change i pROMISE I PROMISE!!!


End file.
